Archive

Archive for May, 2011

Trivia triggers technology titillation

May 27, 2011 7 comments

After Rocky finishes reading the National Enquirer, he turns to the Guinness Book of World Records to find investment themes.

Question: What technology company and product holds the Guinness World Record of being the “fastest selling consumer electronics device ever?”  [Hint: it happened in the past 12 months.]

Answer: Click here for the answer.

[Disclosure: Rocky never provides investment advice, but he admits that he has started purchasing shares of the company that manufactures the Fastest Selling Cosumer Electronics Device EVER! ]

Advertisements

Lady Marmalade

May 19, 2011 2 comments

Skinflint. Miser. Penny-pincher. Frugal.  Tightwad.

All of these adjectives describe Rocky in most matters. However, Rocky throws open his wallet and spares no expense for three important purchase categories:  automobile tires, bath towels, and orange marmalade.

During her recent two-day trip to London, Trophy Wife’s marching orders were clear: find a jar of Fortnum & Mason’s finest Orange Marmalade, and carry it home for Rocky’s (discount) crackers and crumpets. 

Trophy Wife scored a bottle of “Wake-Up Marmalade”  early in the day, and all was well until Heathrow Airport Security seized the jar from her luggage as a “security threat.” Horrified, humiliated, and fearing the “Wrath of Rocky,” she ran to the Airport’s Duty-Free Shop, where she fortuitously found the marmalade section next to the Cuban cigars and over-priced single malt scotch. Unfortunately, the Duty-Free Shop’s marmalade selection was sparse, and she  selected a jar of Sir Nigel’s Orange Marmalade.  (Fortnum & Mason produces more than 40 marmalade varieties.)

From the marmalade bottle: “Noted 1920’s actor-manager, Sir Nigel Playfair was used to getting what he wanted – like the thick-cut, tough-guy marmalade remembered from his childhood rather than the effete flapper versions fashionable at the time.”

After sampling the marvelous marmalade on generic Stop&Shop water biscuits, Rocky agreed that he would no longer consume “effete” American marmalade . A tough guy like Rocky deserves  a tough-guy marmalade. But in a show of tenderness, Rocky thanked Trophy Wife profusely for her valiant efforts, and gave her a sticky peck on the cheek.

[Disclosure: Terrorists should note that airport security will detect explosives dissolved in blood orange marmalade . ]

David Hasselhoff, Baywatch & California finances

May 16, 2011 2 comments

A recent article in the Orange County Register reminded Rocky of the glory days from  Baywatch , (the most-watched TV show of all time.)

The newspaper article explained that being a REAL lifeguard may be a better gig than being a TV lifeguard!

From the newspaper story: “According to a city report on lifeguard pay for the calendar year 2010, of the 14 full-time lifeguards, 13 collected more than $120,000 in total compensation; one lifeguard collected $98,160.65. More than half the lifeguards collected more than $150,000 for 2010 with the two highest-paid collecting $211,451 and $203,481 in total compensation respectively. Even excluding benefits like health care and pension, more than half the lifeguards receive a total salary, including overtime pay, exceeding $100,000. And they also receive an annual allowance of $400 for “Sun Protection.” Many work four days a week, 10 hours a day.

The article continues: “On face, the compensation packages for these guards are staggering. But take into consideration the retirement benefits being paid to currently retired lifeguards and lifeguards who will retire at these pay levels in the future and the problem is further compounded. Lifeguards are able to retire with 90 percent of their salary, after only 30 years of work at as early as the age of 50.”

The entire story can be found here: http://orangepunch.ocregister.com/2011/05/10/lifeguarding-in-oc-is-totally-lucrative-some-make-over-200k/44783/

[Disclosure: Although Orange County generously provides a $400 “sun protection” allowance, Rocky notes that they do not yet provide a plastic surgery allowance. Pamela Anderson wannabes should take note…]