Times are tough: a traffic cone theft
“Approximately 76 orange PVC traffic cones were removed from the Cadosia Valley Lumber parking lot on State Route 191 in Dreher Twp., Wayne County. The theft occurred overnight between March 25 and March 26. The traffic cones belonged to Asplundh Tree Trimming Service, and cones are marked with the company logo. Anyone with information on helping to solve this crime is asked to contact State Police in Honesdale at (570)253-7126.”
Since the cones are marked with a company logo, Rocky speculates about the thief’s possible intentions:
1) Ransom: “Hello, I’ve got your cones. If you want them back alive, leave a bag filled with unmarked $100 bills in the alley. Make sure that you cone alone.”
2) Landscape Decoration: Pink Lawn Flamingos and Lawn Jockyes are passe. But a yard filled with orange pylons “reflects well” and the owner can honestly say, “My yard is shovel-ready for stimulus dollars…”
3) College Fraternity Prank: What fun can a group of frat brothers have with 76 orange pylons and rush-hour traffic on I-95? Can traffic really go in circles?
4) Maybe the Godfather was tired of canolis, and he told his boys to bring back some orange sherbet cones for dessert, and well….