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Unintended ventilation

March 14, 2010

Rocky walked over to his Lexus car on Sunday morning, and discovered that all four windows mysteriously opened overnight. This posed a problem because a late-night monsoon left the seats, carpet and dashboard badly soaked. Even the cupholders were holding water (without cups).

“Unintended acceleration gets all the attention, but unintended ventilation is far more insidious,” grumbled Rocky, as he wiped the seats with a handful of Trophy Wife’s dish towels. “At least with unintended acceleration, you can shift into neutral or turn off the engine.”

The outside temperature was in the high 30’s, so obviously Rocky had not opened the windows intentionally. Also, he keeps the passenger windows in “locked mode,” so he could not have accidentally confused the door-lock and down-window buttons when exiting.

Other than an electronic problem, the best explanation is that Rocky may have sat on his key fob in an odd way. When a driver presses a Lexus key fob unlock-button for 5 continous seconds, all of the car windows open. But how could this happen accidentally? Rocky does not wear his trousers to bed, nor does he engage in contortionist exercises. The best explanation is that Rocky “bent over,” (literally) as he must occasionally do….

[Disclosure: Rocky intends to contact the National Highway Safety Administration and lodge a complaint. Perhaps then Toyota will issue a key fob safety recall — which will prevent unintended ventilation from ruining more fine wool suits and silk jackets — as these fine garments are pressed against soaked leather seats.]

  1. March 14, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    Fakename says: at least you have leather seats. This particular malfunction is hell on cloth.
    As the proud new owner of the cheapest Toyota you could possibly buy, Fakename looks forward to the day she can complain about something. Since nothing in it is automatic. As in…nothing. Can’t tell you how many people make fun of her for it 🙂

  2. March 14, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    I really mniss leather seats. While they are cold as hell in the winter (unless you have a seat heater) and hot as hell in the summer, and crack into pieces in the summer sun…prematurely…there is no substitute for them when you’re taking a sick dog to the vet.

  3. masteroftheuniverse
    March 14, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    I have the same problem with my Ford and have figured out that it happens the same way. My solution is to keep my keys on a snap off key chain on my belt. Now I need to figure out why the headlight turns on in my Vespa sometimes and drains the battery….luckily, I can kick start the Vespa, but it’s still a drag.

  4. Sam
    March 15, 2010 at 11:20 am

    fakename, if I may. People make fun of you because of your car? The point of a car is to get you from place to place, you do not need something expensive to do that.

    Case in point, I recently traded in my late model German engineered auto for an American engineered pick up truck. It is not as fun as the previous vehicle to drive but I have found that it is much more useful and I can also help friends who need to use it every now and then (especially during planting and mulching season coming up). I get more satisfaction out of this than driving a nice car, personally.

    Rocky, perhaps parking in a garage will help in the future, but I know you already know this.

  5. March 17, 2010 at 8:29 am

    I have done this quite a few times…….and I have never had electric windows (;
    and I have cloth seats……..now I have a garage I don’t need to worry about rain getting into my dear little Barina….
    Rocky I love the Lexus……..my dream car……..

  6. allocator
    March 31, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    Well if you are going to complain to the HSA, now is the time. I hear that Toyota is so ashamed that they are now recalling OTHER companies’ products. The unintended consequences of banning sepuku …

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