Rocky walked over to his Lexus car on Sunday morning, and discovered that all four windows mysteriously opened overnight. This posed a problem because a late-night monsoon left the seats, carpet and dashboard badly soaked. Even the cupholders were holding water (without cups).
“Unintended acceleration gets all the attention, but unintended ventilation is far more insidious,” grumbled Rocky, as he wiped the seats with a handful of Trophy Wife’s dish towels. “At least with unintended acceleration, you can shift into neutral or turn off the engine.”
The outside temperature was in the high 30’s, so obviously Rocky had not opened the windows intentionally. Also, he keeps the passenger windows in “locked mode,” so he could not have accidentally confused the door-lock and down-window buttons when exiting.
Other than an electronic problem, the best explanation is that Rocky may have sat on his key fob in an odd way. When a driver presses a Lexus key fob unlock-button for 5 continous seconds, all of the car windows open. But how could this happen accidentally? Rocky does not wear his trousers to bed, nor does he engage in contortionist exercises. The best explanation is that Rocky “bent over,” (literally) as he must occasionally do….
[Disclosure: Rocky intends to contact the National Highway Safety Administration and lodge a complaint. Perhaps then Toyota will issue a key fob safety recall — which will prevent unintended ventilation from ruining more fine wool suits and silk jackets — as these fine garments are pressed against soaked leather seats.]