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Weathering a relationship with Stormy Kromer

December 13, 2009

Every December, Rocky reunites with his old best friend Stormy Kromer. But not this December.

Stormy and Rocky were both engineers, inventors, mediocre baseball players, and according to Stormy’s website, “generally tough characters.” Their symbiotic relationship was based on mutual need and respect:  Stormy’s legendary trademarked Flexible Fit hat kept Rocky’s bald head warm. In return, Rocky defended Stormy’s hat against ridicule from his teenage daughter and other fashionistas.

The hat was so ugly that when people walked past Rocky on his local Main Street,  they would turn and whisper, “Was that the real Elmer Fudd?” (Note to town residents: Unlike Elmer Fudd, Rocky does not usually carry a 12-gauge shotgun. But he may have a concealed flashlight.)

The insults pounded Rocky like heavy rain on a duck’s back. Rocky, warm and happy, didn’t care.

But something had changed as he donned the red plaid adornment last week. Oddly, it was too tight and small. Unbearably tight. Either Rocky’s head had grown over the past nine months — or the hat had shrunk.

Rocky’s daughter jumped up-and-down with glee. “Hurray! No more Stormy Kromer!”

The fashionistas may have won this battle, but not the war. The Stormy Kromer website says Rocky’s Flexible Fit remains available in size 7-1/2 — with next-day delivery.

[Disclosure: Rocky admits that he has a “big head,” but that doesn’t detract from Stormy Kromer Inc., which is a privately-owned company in Michigan. Stormy still manufactures in the USA — which is a good reason to take a closer look at their product line. In addition to employing Americans, Stormy may have prevented more cases of pneumonia than the Centers for Disease Control! See:
http://www.americanprofile.com/article/20775.html ]

  1. Boabdil
    December 13, 2009 at 9:20 am

    Consider upgrading to Double Mackinaw from Filson (http://tinyurl.com/ydohrlb). Also made in the USA and something Elmer would be proud to wear.

  2. December 13, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Rocky, to abate the ridicule I recommend wearing the SK sideways, with baggy pants. You’ll notice the difference immediately. “Say wasn’t that homie the real Elmer Fudd?” 🙂


  3. December 15, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    On principle, Fakename always hates to side with teenagers. But. Fakename recommends the following website http://www.e4hats.com/ where you can both find something to keep you warm and something to embarass your daughter at the same time. Or one or the other, depending on your priorities at the time.

  4. December 15, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    I would recommend the Ski Beanie for maximum embarassment potential.

  5. December 16, 2009 at 8:26 am

    Fakename: Thanks for the heads-up (or perhaps more accurately, the “heads down.”)

    Rocky explored your suggested website and found the http://www.e4hats.com/_e/Face_Mask_Full/product/fa017kh-big_face/Full_Face_Mask_Big_Pig_Face.htm
    face mask to be appealing — however the tellers at the local Citibank branch may think otherwise.

  6. December 16, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    Luckily, and inexplicably, I see it’s in stock. I bet there are places where those things are flying off the shelves.

  7. Boabdil
    December 30, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    I proudly wore my Filson to the American Girl store in NYC yesterday with my horrified daughter. We were stopped 3 times by strangers inquiring where they could purchase the cap. With the sub zero temperatures I should have auctioned off the cap to pay for Felicity’s latest dresses. Instead, I stayed warm and used my credit card

  8. December 30, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    Bravo Boabdil!

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