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Florida “worst state” for spending stimulus

August 18, 2009




Washington bluntly labeled Florida as the “worst performing state”  because they’ve been the slowest to spend  highway stimulus money. See: http://transportation.house.gov/News/PRArticle.aspx?NewsID=984

In Washington’s  Bizzaro  world, cautious spending  of taxpayer money is  bad. Very bad.

Rocky notes that Washington also appears unaware of the unusual highway conditions in Southern Florida: 

Rocky hears that highway crews are currently stuck in traffic on the Florida Turnpike. Local residents report that the highway crews are flashing high-beams and honking at a group of slow-moving white Taurus sedans moving 20MPH in the passing lane.  The Taurus drivers seem unaware that they should move over to the right lane, so the asphalt spreaders can pass.

  1. August 18, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    This just goes to show how wrong everyone has it about Florida. Highway crews are not stuck on the Turnpike, they are somewhere on I-95, between Miami and West Palm Beach. The vehicles in the way are not Tauruses, they are Chrysler Sebrings, which at first glance seem to be unoccupied, as the driver’s line of sight (and therefore, your inability to see his or her head) is approximately lined up with the middle of the steering wheel airbag. Occasionlly you realize the driver woke up, when he or she veers across five lanes to reach the exit. What the highway crews need is bigger trucks, obviously, because tractor trailer operators usually get ahead of traffic by, at intervals, running over the first five vehicles ahead of them. (Fakename used to live in South Florida, and for a period of time, commuted every weekday between Ft. Lauderdale and West Palm Beach on I-95, an 84-mile round trip.)

  2. August 18, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    One of the criticisms of the Blogosphere is it’s fertile ground for spreading gossip, rumor, innuendo, and outright lies. “Truth be told!” … thanks to Fakename.

    On this subject, Rocky shares a valuable life lesson gleaned from Minnie Pearl:
    “You won’t never catch me repeating gossip….so you’d better be sure and listen closely the first time!”

  3. August 18, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    > slow-moving white Taurus sedans moving 20MPH in the passing lane. The Taurus
    > drivers seem unaware that they should move over to the right lane,

    I would like to note that Gov. JEB Bush, one of the greatest natural disasters to befall the state, vetoed a bill which would have made not moving to the right lane a violation, on the the perfectly logical premise that to do so would mean that drivers driving the speed limit could be charged for failing to allow speeders an easy pass. And this was WRONG! As someone who fauthfully follows ourt speed limits, I hail JEB! He was so much wiser than his brother, Pres. G. W. Bush….

    As for your name, I am thinking through the fact that Babbage was the father of the computer and Dulles was the first civilian director of CIA. Am I on the right track? Or is that cheating to ask?

    If I figure it out, I do not seek money; all ask is some of that Kosher BBQ. I’d like the pork version … 😉

  4. August 18, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    Spencercourt writes: “As for your name, I am thinking through the fact that Babbage was the father of the computer and Dulles was the first civilian director of CIA. Am I on the right track? Or is that cheating to ask?”

    Spencercourt: Rocky cannot Deny that your facts are correct; it is Plausible that you are on the right track. But it would be “cheating” to provide further guidance. Remember that quite apart from using ULTRA to decode German cyphers, Dulles was also a partner with Sullivan & Cromwell.

  5. August 18, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    Note, Rocky, that Fakename has brought a new reader to your blog. She is somewhat hurt that Demosthenes was not a valid answer, but that Simon & Cromwell has something to do with it. She will be very disappointed if any cheating is involved, especially if it requires her to do any Google searches on her own. Currently she is very worried about the appearance of her hair, although she no longer chews gum.

  6. masteroftheuniverse
    August 18, 2009 at 10:29 pm


    I didn’t authorize that picture of my back yard:)

    That guy standing in the picture looks like one of the redneck buddies that I go fishing with.


  7. ld
    August 18, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    How does Rocky, the legendary speculator and curmudgeon, going to profit from this information about Jeff’s back yard?

  8. August 19, 2009 at 6:00 am

    fakename: You write “currently she is very worried about the appearance of her hair, although she no longer chews gum.” Have you considered the possibility that your chewing gum is stuck in your hair? (This is a special risk for blondes.) Although Rocky no longer faces this health risk, he understands that peanut butter is a natural bubble gum solvent — and suggests that you try a pb& j scalp massage before heading to work today.

    Jeff: He is.

    LD: If you examine the photo carefully, you will note the fine gold powder in the dirt. As the 49’ers would say — “there’s Gold in them thar holes”

  9. August 19, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    Dang! Thanks, Rocky! Fakename has been searching for that gum since 1972. You would think one of my hairdressers would have clued me in by now. I can only think they must have concluded it was a special wad of decoder gum, which needed a relatively foolproof hiding place. We all know that if you absolutely have to share a secret with just one person, tell it to a hair stylist.
    I was kind of rushed today and regrettably did not have time for a scalp massage before work. Also, what I wanted to know is, does it matter what kind of jelly? I mean, if it has to be grape, I hate grape. Will jam work? I like strawberry best.
    Also, have you noticed how well I have managed to devolve this topic? When you go from “incautious spending of taxpayer money”, through several other nouns all the way to “strawberry jam”, I mean, I think that’s an achievement. Maybe it’s like a Six Degrees of Separation thing. Maybe it’s Godwin’s Law.

  10. August 19, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    1) You slipped into the first person narrative! Is there significance to this?
    2) Rocky is partial to a Thick Cut Seville Orange Marmalade Massage, but then he lived in England for quite a long time…

  11. August 19, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    Fakename is capable of switching smoothly between third and first person, which only very astute readers note, along with people who were in her seventh grade grammar class. Dang! Were you there? It was in North Carolina. Somewhere.

  12. August 19, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    Nope. Rocky hails from a rusty old mill town — a town still best known for its brewery that scorns “artificial bubbles.” (The economy and markets would be in much better shape if they conformed to the same rules.) If you are student of brewing history, you can figure out which rusty old mill town it is, from this link:


  13. August 19, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    Fakename also meant to mention that you should never hide things in your freezer, a la William Jefferson of Louisiana. I mean, we have all known that trick for so long. He was so dumb he hid $90,000 in cash in wrapped in tin foil. Whatever happened to boxes of frozen peas? (Instructions: Discard peas. Put stuff in the box. Glue ends of box together. Never use Scotch tape.) Then look shocked when FBI finds it. Say: Officer, that stuff must have been in the box already when I innocently picked it up in the frozen vegetable aisle.

  14. masteroftheuniverse
    August 19, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    Speaking of freezers, tonight I cleaned out my chest freezer and I had to give some redneck buddies frozen fish, crabs, meat, and gator tail. I felt bad about giving away the ‘tail as I wanted to try out a new BBQ recipe. heck, I feel bad about giving away about 20 good snook fillets.

    Tomorrow is going to be a BBQ day for both lunch and dinner as I don’t know the next time I’ll get some good ‘Q

    I’ve been also drinking a couple of quarts of sweet tea a day just to tide myself over.


  15. August 20, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    > Simon & Cromwell

    Sounds like a steak sauce…lol!

  16. August 20, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    It’s Sullivan & Cromwell

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