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Wolfgang Puck, burnt toast and the Government

June 12, 2009

wolfgang puckSavoring a first cup of coffee while browsing the day’s headlines is an early morning ritual for many folks.

A risk-averse pessimist, Rocky Humbert’s morning ritual includes an additional step: He always checks the latest safety recalls from the Consumer Product Safety Commission website.

Rocky just read that the CPSC recalled his beloved Wolfgang Puck Toaster. The CPSC recalled the toaster because it can remain “on” after the toast pops up.

Admittedly, Rocky’s toast has been darker than usual of late — but he attributed this to day-old, stale bread — rather than the toaster working overtime.

Although Wolfgang Puck prefers his steak “rare to medium-rare,” the Chef evidently likes his toast burned to ashes.

Rocky’s weekend project will be to exchange his toaster, and write a heartfelt letter of thanks to the 444 diligent employees at the CPSC whose $80 million budget has grown 27% over the past two years.

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  1. allocator
    June 13, 2009 at 10:27 am

    Rocky,

    Not so fast … you could make use of burnt toast to either camouflage or “poison-pill” the left-overs that you cherish so and that other family members have been raiding of late. (So you don’t have to go “Columbine” on them.) 🙂

    Cheers,
    George

  2. masteroftheuniverse
    June 13, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    The other day I felt so bad, I would have wished that you threw that toaster in the bath tub while I was trying to soak.

    Anyways, expect an invite from my friend and me to eat at Bouley in the next week or two, or as soon as you can schedule your lovely wife to get some time off.

  3. June 13, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    George:
    There’s no risk to life or limb of Rocky going “Columbine.” He was never able to reliabily hit the target with his .22 — but Trophy Wife’s priceless paintings and wall tapestries are indeed at risk.

    Jeff:
    Rocky and Trophy Wife would be honored and delighted once they find an empty page in Trophy Wife’s diary.

  4. masteroftheuniverse
    June 15, 2009 at 11:57 am

    Rocky,

    Sometimes, you just have to tear out those pages and create empty ones:)

    Jeff

  5. hesaidandshesaid
    June 24, 2009 at 9:48 am

    Am I the only person having a hard time finding a decent toaster of late? I don’t understand why the redesign over the last few years, but toaster ovens are all different now and none of them toast well.

  6. June 24, 2009 at 9:53 am

    hesaidandshesiad:

    Thanks for your insightful comment. There are important historical parallels.

    King Nero (shortly before the decline and fall of the Roman empire) wrote about his inability to find decent toast. He remedied this problem by setting Rome ablaze — hence the phrase, “Nero fiddled, while Rome burned.”

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