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Hot dogs and bad puns

April 7, 2009


“Man charged with baking ex-girlfriend’s dog,” read the Chicago Sun-Times headline.

The story says that a 31-year-old Green Bay man accused of killing his ex-girlfriend’s dog in an oven, has been arrested in Michigan.

“Green Bay investigators say the man broke into his ex-girlfriend’s home and put her 5-month-old Pekingese-poodle mix in the oven. Prosecutors plan to charge the man with felony counts of animal mistreatment and burglary. The woman has said she came home to a smoky house and found her pet dead in the hot oven.”

Rocky, a dog- and barbeque-lover, coincidentally notes that the Chicago Sun-Times recently filed for bankruptcy. He also recognizes that this story gives rise to irresistable puns and jokes in “poor taste”:

1) Hot dogs, anyone?
2) The ex- is no genius. The expression is “The Rabbit Died,” or “There’s a BUN in the oven!”
3) Peking-ese Duck for dinner?
4) If the boyfriend was in a hurry, why didn’t he use the microwave?
5) Pass the A-1 sauce. Its bark was worse than its bite.
6) The boyfriend cooked a Pekingese-poodle “mix.” He couldn’t even follow the recipe from “scratch.”

The Humane Society has offered a reward of up to $2,500 for information leading to a conviction. A cynical person might even suggest that the dog owner “cooked up” the whole story.

  1. allocator
    April 7, 2009 at 6:29 pm


    That’s just sick. You should be ashamed of yourself. I’m very disappointed.

    Now if it was a cat …

  2. April 7, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    Rocky doesn’t make the news. He just reports it. Don’t shoot the messenger. (Or cook the messenger either.)

  3. ld
    April 7, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    Glad this is where I get my news, Rocky, except #4 is going to cause even more sleepless nights than I already have.

  4. April 7, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    Ld: Rocky & Trophy Wife have a cat who is very stealthy and clever. She occasionally climbs into the warm clothes dryer when the door is left open. Needless to say, it’s a high risk activity for the feline….

  5. masteroftheuniverse
    April 9, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    My old protagonist, Jimmy Buffett always recounted the old poodle in the microwave incident during his concerts. It was one of his signature jokes.

    I once mixed it up with old Jimmy back in my redneck days. Here’s a link to those old glory days.


  6. April 10, 2009 at 3:18 pm


    That’s quite a story! Once upon a time, Glenn Close cut in front of Rocky while he was in line at a capucchino bar. Rocky (who didn’t recognize her) was about to challenge her, but then Rocky’s daughter said — “Don’t mess with Cruella De Vil! Hence no fists or foam were exchanged. Good thing — as Rocky later discovered that Cruella is a neighbor.


  7. Russell Pierce
    April 11, 2009 at 11:19 am

    There was this guy who came home and barked, “What’s for dinner, Hon?”
    And she replied with a husky voice, “I’m sorry, Dear, I burnt the dinner in the oven.
    ” What was it?,” he purred.
    “It was roasted vegetables and pork chops.”
    “Ahh, that’s OK, Hon, I never liked that–it always tasted like dog food anyway!” And he turned around three times, and sat down.

  8. April 15, 2009 at 11:59 am

    My dad was once rudely jostled by Jean Chretien (our eventual prime minister) on an Air Canada flight.

    And I made eye contact with Cate Blanchett once on a movie set (my brother-in-law is a first assistant director) – sigh.

    People have mistaken me for Larry Hagman (JR of Dallas fame), Bill Clinton (of Monica Lewinsky fame), and Stephen Harper (current prime minister). One woman at the bus stop actually asked me where my security detail was. Canadians are too polite to assassinate their politicians, but I AM a tad worried about people throwing crap at me – or pie-ing me.


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