The life & times of Rocky Humbert

Since starting his blog, readers have inundated Rocky with questions, comments and spam.

He answers the most common questions below:

Is Rocky available for speaking engagements?
Yes, Rocky is a sought-after motivational speaker for corporate retreats, trade shows and Gambler’s Anonymous meetings. He also ghost writes offkey-note speeches on a pay-by-the-word basis. [Important Update: After an unfortunate fly-fishing accident, Rocky had to cancel all speaking engagements until further notice. He remains available for on-line chats and telephone interviews. Clients: If you previously booked Rocky, send an email to receive a refund. Police Officers: If you previously booked Rocky, he WILL appear in Court.]

Can you tell us about Rocky’s family?
Rocky’s mother came from a prosperous Cuban family that cultivated world-famous chile peppers. Shortly before Fidel Castro came to power, Rocky’s mom escaped on a small boat with just the clothes on her back, and a handful of Habanero seeds in her hand. She left her family behind, but brought her secret BBQ recipe to America, with dreams of freedom and the perfect sauce.

Rocky’s father grew up in The Bronx, and served his country with pride as an anti-aircraft gunner during WWII. Trapped by the enemy without food or water, he ingeniously turned his gun skyward, and shot down a flock of Golden-Maned Hornbills to nourish his battalion. For this brave deed, he received a Bronze Star. Returning to the USA, Rocky’s father worked his way through college by selling brisket door-to-door.

Through a common acquaintence, Rocky’s parents met and fell in love. With his mother’s BBQ sauce and his father’s brisket, they decided to start the first and only Kosher BBQ joint in The Bronx. Unfortunately, they were ahead of their time, and the restaurant closed inauspiciously after just three weeks. Rocky’s father then joined the burgeoning Military-Industrial complex and designed inertial guidance systems for nuclear missiles.

Rocky acquired the love of nuclear missiles from his father, and following in his dad’s footsteps, became a Rocket Scientist in his own right.

Why does Rocky always write and speak in the third person?
Rocky thinks this is perfectly normal, and wonders why most people do NOT speak in the third person? When pressed on this point, he offers three more possible explanations:
1) Elmo from Sesame Street as a role model. Elmo’s inspirational quote: “Just because you don’t know what is going to happen, doesn’t mean you are unimportant.”
2) The Wizard of Oz as a role model. The Wizard’s inspirational quote: “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”
3) Mental illness.

How do I contact Rocky?
The best way to reach Rocky is to post on his blog at http://www.rockyhumbert.com However, if you have a sensitive issue that requires discretion, you may send him an email:rocky (at) rockyhumbert.com.

What is Rocky’s favorite music?
Rocky is partial to Gregorian Chant and Bluegrass. His favorite single is Ed Seykota’s Whipsaw Song.
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