A dumpling that broke the camel’s back

Rocky always re-uses his lunchtime plastic fork. This is not a homage to Al Gore and the greens. Rather, Rocky is just plain cheap.

Rocky calculates that, over a lifetime, re-using his plastic fork should save nearly $1,000. Based on Fidelity’s retirement website, this amount should compound into $10,000 if invested 100% in stocks.

Sadly, a calamity just occurred. The tensile strength of Lean Cusine #17113 (“Asian-Style Pot Stickers”) exceeded the strength of Plastic Fork #15072-CC. A dramatic, violent and frightening fork fracture ensued. (See photo.)

The Lean Cuisine description reads, “Tender dumplings filed with a blend of chicken, cabbage, onion and carrots.” Rocky believes that “tender” is a mischaracterization, and he’s consulting with legal counsel to investigate whether a class action lawsuit should be filed.

[Disclosure: The Lean Cuisine box fine print also states: "CAUTION: Do not prepare in a toaster oven. A reheated plastic tray can warp or melt." Rocky suggests that Lean Cuisine should add the warning: "Always wear eye protection when using plastic cutlery."]