Bank closures, oranges, and broken glass
“A day without orange juice is like a day without sunshine,” says the Florida Citrus Commission. Because of his acid stomach and acid wit, Rocky doesn’t drink much orange juice. Instead, Rocky says, ”A week without a bank failure is like a week with sunshine.”
According to the FDIC, last week marked one of the rare weeks of 2009 without a single bank failure. Folks who see their glass as “half-full” will read this statistic as a ray of economic sunshine. Folks who see their glass as “half-empty” will note that the FDIC usually closes banks on Fridays. Due to the Columbus Day holiday, FDIC employees may have just decided to take a long weekend. The FDIC bank closing list can be viewed here: http://www.fdic.gov/bank/individual/failed/banklist.html
Rocky isn’t someone who views his glass as either half-full or half-empty. Instead, he views his glass as cracked. Hence, he was not surprised when OJ prices went “limit up” (outperforming gold) yesterday. The Trading Places-esque price spike occurred after a Agriculture Department crop report showed a 16% decline in Florida orange production. See: http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aC2tcKYnOSOk
Rocky sensibly concludes that any surviving banks won’t be serving free orange juice to their customers.
[Disclosure: Rocky frequently mixes metaphors, as this is part of constructing a "well-diversified" portfolio.]
Fakename knows someone whose sister works for the FDIC and travels a great deal on Thursdays for the purpose of closing banks on Friday. But here’s the thing: it’s a temporary job. She signed a two-year contract, with an option to renew. Perhaps this means: there won’t be any banks left to close down. Which in itself could mean that in two years there will be only healthy banks that are not in need of closure, or it could mean there are no more banks left. Does Rocky care to speculate about the meaning of this?
Rocky speculates that the former explanation is more probable — perhaps because even Willie Sutton still needs to make a living.
For a prize of dubious monetary value, and without doing any Internet searches, just who spoke those words on TV that you attribute to the Florida Citrus Commission?
Spencer: That’s TOO easy. It was Anita Bryant. (But as Seinfeld would say, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Willie Sutton, being dead, no longer has to worry about where the money is…
Good show Rocky! I wasn’t sure if you were “old enough to remember that.
Where would you like a gen-new-wine wood pellet from the world’s largest wood pellet producing plant sent? That plant is located just south of Cottondale, Florida, which is just west of Marianna, Florida, which is just west of Tallahassee, Florida. Every last pellet is shipped to Europe, where the pellets are burned in coal plants (25% pellets, 75% coal) to reduce CO2 emissions per the Kyoto Treaty, which we did not sign. The plant is owned by a Swedish company, whose founder is a former oil executive who decided that oil is dying.
Spencer: Please donate Rocky’s prize to the same charity that will receive Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize money.
(For the record, Rocky’s Unique Prizes of Dubious Money Value are quite a bit different … As George can attest, no two are exactly alike … )