Toilet sabotage: An attack on the home throne
Remarkably, both bolts that connect the water tank to the bowl failed simultaneously. Rocky’s water is slightly acidic, but to a sensibly paranoid observer, this WAS NO ACCIDENT.
Rocky surmises that one of his enemies planned to cut the brake lines of his car — but got tired of waiting in the rain. Hence, the evil-doer broke into Rocky’s house and cut the toilet bolts instead. This was a direct affront to Rocky’s “throne.” (A less plausible explanation is a manufacturing defect.)
Rest(room) assured, Rocky will remain especially “vigilant,” until the culprit is apprehended and/or his toilet is repaired.
[Disclosure: This was a seven-year-old Kallista Stafford Two-Piece Toilet, Model P70022. Customer service is closed on weekends.]